How can i achieve my goals when im so far away from them at many disadvantages ?

Okay, you need some seriously good and genuine friendship, that will stabilise you somewhat, and a decent, professional counseller to help you tackle these "issues" head-on. I am sorry your life unfolded like that, i too have had a similar experience; relentless playground/college/work teasing that lead to me being crushed by these-popular-blind, insensitive fools. Hard not to feel bitterness about it when i consider how much i've lost and missed out on-years of injustice and unfairness, an empty and unhappy existence on benefits, and not much hope of returning to a workplace, 'cause joe public ain't that sympathetic, i'm afraid. However, i suspect you really wish to escape your immediate environment, and the UK, and who would blame you. Sounds like you have been badly treated and failed by others, god eventually finds a way of humbling them, have faith. But you need to try and develop your confidence, by getting organised and confronting your problems with the right kind of support. Use those bad experiences in a positive way, to reverse the damage long term. don't let yourself be defined by it all. Hope this helps, and wish you every hope for the future. "don't look back, you can never look back".